At our recent Toddler “Montessori In the Home” Night, two great questions came up that I know many parents wrestle with:

• “What if my toddler won’t stay in bed at night?”
• “What do I do if they won’t listen while we’re eating dinner?”

You are not alone. These are the kinds of challenges that remind us toddlers are learning not only what to do, but also how to live with others. They are testing limits, seeking security, and figuring out where their power lies. That’s where our role as parents comes in: we lead with love and with limits.

Why Limits Matter

In Montessori we often talk about “freedom within limits.” At home, that looks a lot like authoritative parenting — warmth and empathy paired with structure and consistency. Children feel safe when they know what to expect, and they grow when adults hold those boundaries kindly and firmly.

Think of yourself as your toddler’s leader. Not a drill sergeant, not a pushover — but a calm, steady guide who sets the tone and helps them learn how family life works.

The Bedtime Struggle

If your toddler keeps popping out of bed, here are a few things that can help:

• Routine, routine, routine. A consistent sequence — pajamas, teeth, story, snuggle, lights out — gives your child the signals they need to settle.
• Clear expectations. Say, “When it’s bedtime, we stay in bed until morning.” Repeat this calmly every night.
• Choices within limits. “Do you want your teddy or your blanket first?” They get agency while you hold the line that it’s still bedtime.
• Calm follow-through. If they get up, walk them back without fanfare. No lectures, no bargaining — just consistency.
• Affirm their effort. Acknowledge mornings when they did stay in bed: “You stayed in your bed all night — you must feel so rested!”

Over time, the message sinks in: bedtime means bedtime.

Dinner Time Battles

Dinner can be one of the hardest times of day — everyone’s tired, hungry, maybe a little cranky (aren’t we all!). Here’s how to approach it with leadership and empathy:

• Set the tone before you sit down. “At dinner we sit at the table together and use gentle voices.” Toddlers do better when they know the rules ahead of time.
• Model what you want. They learn more from watching you than from listening to a lecture.
• Keep it simple. Sometimes offering a small “first bite” of fruit or a favorite vegetable helps get them started.
• Minimize distractions. No toys, no screens — just the people and the meal.
• Redirect calmly. If they get up, gently guide them back: “It’s dinner time, we sit together until we’re finished.”
• Affirm what goes well. Even if it’s just five minutes in the chair: “I noticed you sat with us and ate your food — that made our dinner time feel so nice together.”

Again, the consistency matters more than the words. Toddlers quickly learn what’s expected if the response is the same every time.

Parenting toddlers is leadership training in the truest sense. They are wired to test and we are called to guide. When you lead with limits — calmly, clearly, and with kindness — your toddler learns that home is a place where boundaries keep them safe, routines make life predictable, and family means being together.

And remember: progress is gradual. Affirm the little victories, stay steady in the hard moments, and trust that your child is learning exactly what they need to from the limits you lovingly hold.